READ 1 PETER 3:1-7
TRANSFORM CHARACTER – MARK 5:1-13
1. Separate from people who will cause you to gossip, find fault.
2. Develop your character through the following.
3. By being teachable By being leadable.
4. By being directable By being humble .
5. By being obedient.
6. Be a friend or staying with people or somebody who will build you life for life. They will not give you chance to do contrary so that you can become strong.
7. Don’t follow somebody who has bad character. Nothing corrupt destiny like bad character. Keep friends who will rebuke you, criticize you, refuse you and who will not praise you always.
v Character
is develop when you have connection with God always by asking how do God feel
about me in prayer, because the more you pray, the more humble you become.
v Bible
reading, how to talk and relating with people at home.
v Character
is developing when you easily admit your fault, mistake, error.
N/B: Beauty without character can only attract they eyes but cannot attract the heart.What involve God cannot fail. A man or woman of purpose cannot fail. God created you for a purpose that is to prosper.
WINSOME CHARACTER AND GRACIOUS CONDUCT IN THE FAMILY
1 Peter 3:1-7 reads “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conservation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear…But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a weak and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price… Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord …Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
You
will notice that the focus of this passage is the family. From the very first
sentence, the Spirit of God, through the author, directly and clearly addresses
the wife. He tells her what she must do to win her husband to herself and to
the Lord, if he is yet to surrender his life to Him. He then turns to the
husband in the seventh verse, telling him also what he must do to win his wife
over. The implication of this set of instructions issued to each of the couple
is to make them work at making their union what God intends it to be – a
representation of the unity that exists in the Godhead.
The Winsome Conduct of a Christian Wife.
A
Christian wife is a woman who has turned away from sin, received Jesus Christ
as her personal Saviour, and consequently lives a new life in Him (2
Cor. 5:17). The husband of a Christian wife may be a non-Christian or
unbeliever, referred to by a writer as “a beloved unbeliever”. If this is
the case, the question then is, how does the Christian wife win her non -
Christian husband to the Lord? The beginning of 1 Peter 3 reveals several
ways she can do this.
1. Submit
herself to her husband (Verse 1). Submission
to your husband as a Christian wife is necessary because you are a child of
God, He commands you to do so, and obeying Him is advantageous to you.
Submission is winsome. If you desire your husband’s conversion, you must learn
to submit to him.
2. Have
open conversation with her husband (Verse
1). Conversation in this context means the manner in which you speak to
your husband. The way you talk to your husband can draw him closer to you and
to God. If, however, you bully, nag or lord it over him, you will definitely
repel him. By your conversation, you can win him to the Lord, or drive him far
from Him.
3. Honour
and respect her husband (Verse 2). The
word “fear” as used in this verse is not slavish fear, but honour and
respect for your husband. To honour your husband is not necessarily bowing,
genuflecting, or kneeling before him, whatever the sign of respect for the man
may be in your culture, but your attitude, disposition, carriage, response, or
reaction to what he says or does goes go a long way to show whether you honour
and respect him or not. Your “chaste conversation coupled with fear” is
definitely a way to win your husband.
4. Dress
neatly, decently and moderately before her husband (verse 3). You should not look slovenly or unkempt before your
husband. What attracts a man to his wife is her neat, elegant and smart
appearance aside her godly character.
5. Be
meek and humble to her husband (verse 4). The scripture affirms
that this meek and quiet spirit of a godly wife is of great worth. In as much
as the Word of God is true, this virtue effectively wins a man over.
6. Trust
God for her husband (verse 5). Don’t be worried or discuss your husband’s spiritual
state with people, but rather pray and trust God for his conversion.
7. Reverence
and be good to her husband (verse 6). When you truly reverence
your husband and do good to him, he will be attracted to you and of course to
the Lord.
N/B: The only way you will win her heart to you and the Lord is to see her exactly the same way God sees her – a beloved woman, foe whose soul He sacrificed His only begotten son.
Let
us rephrase all we have just said about the winsome conduct of a Christian
wife. Salvation attracts, sin repels; submission attracts, stubbornness repels;
softness attracts, sharpness repels; simplicity attracts, selfishness repels;
spirituality attracts, sorcery repels; support attracts, self-centeredness
repels; sanctification attracts, shabbiness repels.
Of
all the winsome virtues of the Christian wife mentioned here, submission
is the most potent. Apostle Paul, by the inspiration of the Holy
Spirit, wrote to the Christian wives at Ephesus, and by extension those of us
today,
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22).
Many
women today see submission to their husbands as a big deal, but a careful
consideration of the subject matter will reveal that it is not as difficult as
they think. You naturally and willingly submit to other authorities – your
parents, boss, the government, a law enforcement agent, a doctor or an older
sibling without any qualm. Yes, you may obey them because something is at
stake. If your doctor instructs you to do something concerning your health, for
instance, you will obey because your life is at stake. You will also obey the
flight attendant when he instructs you to fasten your seat belt because your
life is involved. But the bottom line is whether something is at stake or not,
you naturally and willingly submit to these authorities without any difficulty.
Therefore, if submission to these authorities is more or less something natural
for you, why is submission to your husband a difficult thing? The truth is
submission to your husband is advantageous to you in all ways-spiritually and
otherwise. But if you don’t submit to him, you stand at a great disadvantage.
THE WISE CHRISTLIKE CHARACTER OF THE HUSBAND
Much
has been said already about the conducts of the Christian wife that will win
the husband’s heart and draw him to the Lord, so that their marriage will be
blissful. But a happy marriage is not all the making of the wife. The husband
also has a vital role to play in making the relationship work. Just as the
wife, he needs to fulfill his responsibility in wining the wife to himself and
to the Lord, if she is not yet a Christian. And how does a Christian husband
win his non-Christian wife to the Lord? “Likewise, ye husbands dwell with them according
to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as
being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered”
(1 Peter 3:7).
Here
is the counsel for the husband: he must live with his wife, no matter how cantankerous
or evil she is. As a husband, you are not to divorce your wife or send her away
from her matrimonial home. Rather, you should considerably live with her. Don’t
be ashamed when she follows you to church in her makeup and worldly attires. Be
proud of her. Though she’s not born again, she’s still part of you. Sooner,
your love and tolerance will win her to the Lord.
Show
your wife some understanding. As the scripture enjoins above, live with her “according
to knowledge.” First, live with her according to the knowledge of God’s
word. The bible commands the husband to love his wife unconditionally. Second,
live with her according to the knowledge of her femininity. A woman is
different from a man; hence, her needs are peculiar. You must understand this,
and relate with her with the knowledge of those peculiar needs.
You
must also “(give) honour unto the wife.” Deliberately honour and respect
her. You know it is possible for a man to be neutral in this regard. He doesn’t
ill-treat, insult, assault or humiliate his wife; yet, he doesn’t respect her
views, decisions, judgments and concerns. He just chooses the middle ground;
that is being neutral. Actually, In God’s economy, there is no middle ground.
You must honour your wife deliberately and consistently. Let her know you
really appreciate her. Honour and respect her “as unto the weaker vessel.”
She is feebler or weaker than you are. Know her weaknesses – physical,
emotional, or spiritual weaknesses – and be considerate of her feelings and
inabilities.
Moreover,
relate with her as a person who is “heirs together of the grace of life”
with you. No matter the depth of her sinful life, remember that the grace of
salvation, sanctification, service to the Lord is available to her just as it
is to you. You will never win her if you look down on her. The only way you
will win her heart to you and the Lord is to see her exactly the same way God
sees her – a beloved woman, for whose soul He sacrificed His only begotten son.
Now
that you know that the conscious effort of both spouses to make their
relationship work is the recipe for a blissful and blossoming marriage, begin
to imbibe the winsome attitudes of a wife and a husband discussed above, so
that you can enjoy a home that is heaven on earth, and the envy of many.
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